I’m a wild & untamed thing

“I’d rather stick my dick in a blender.” -Funniest text message Chris Golio has ever sent me.

California on Monday morning! Then Tricia & I are going to drive back across country, leaving sometime Tuesday? Colleen = Excited. I know we’re probably stopping in Vegas, we’re stopping in Tennessee so she can see her grandmother & in Baltimore to visit her dad (yessssss, our last adventure in Baltimore back in April was SO much fun; I got to see some of the places that Tricia caused trouble when she was growing up & then during her Towson days). I think getting away from everything on Long Island that’s completely stressed me out since I got home in May will be just what I need, since the only other thing that would be ‘just what I need’ is a real job & that one’s obviously workin’ like gangbusters.

Aaaaanyway, I don’t really have any fun work stories at the moment – except that when you’re in the wordrobing room, you can hear people in the break room, since there’s a little window that connects the two. There’s a vending machine right against the shared wall that breaks every other day & often times, whoever’s in the dressing room can hear whoever’s frustrated with the vending machine banging/shaking it in order to get their candy out (usually the Swedish Fish get stuck, FYI in case anyone ever finds themselves in the break room of Ann Taylor anytime soon).

So this afternoon, I hear someone beating the shit out of this machine for being such a withholding little bitch. I open the window & call out, “Stop beating up the vending machine!” (I was going to make a tasteless misogynistic joke too but alas, did not.) Usually, someone will say something back, but this time – nothing. So I thought nothing of it til about an hour later when one of the stock guys, Ryan, comes up to me.

Ryan: “Did you yell at Dillion (new guy) for shaking the vending machine?”
Me: “Yeah, I heard him giving it a beatdown through the wall.”
Ryan: “He thought that it was an automated message. He came back white as a ghost, claiming that the vending machine was TALKING to him, telling him to stop shaking it!!”

Exactly. And in case you’re wondering, hell yeah I made fun of the new guy for the rest of the day. I don’t care if he’s Lisa’s brother. Dude thought the vending machine was talking to him…

Ok, that’s enough for one night. I’m off for the next 2 weeks. Yaaaay for not having to work, boooo for how broke I’m going to be soon!!

Oh – holler at me if you want me to send you a postcard or something, since everyone knows I’m big on that shit since I’m so cheesy. Roadtripping advice also encouraged.

P.S. STARKED NYC‘s been down since Wednesday, which SUCKS cause I spent like 2 hours on Wed night doing all the Daily News Links with a Rocky Horror Show theme for Halloween, wasting time that I could have spent in NYC with Amanda, Courtney, Julie, Hittenmark, Matero, etc & of course as soon as I publish it, the site’s down so no one could fucking see it. However, I’m sharing this with all of you because I found it hysterical & nearly peed my pants when I saw it (don’t you just love redundency?) & have no other way of sharing it with people til the site’s back up. Have fun: Have Yourself a Merry Lohan Christmas!

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