Coll Writes

You know how I do.

Adventures in Spyware!

Written By: Colleen - Mar• 21•08

Spyware sucks. I got a nasty case of it last night right before Lost started & spent all freaking night trying to get rid of it, including buying some stupid program that Anthony recommended with money I definitely do not have (grrrr). Nothing’s working and I keep getting lovely pop-ups (I think my first thought this morning was, “Wow that girl has to have A LOT of space in her mouth to fit that. Somebody get me some popcorn and a notebook…”) and lots of great security warnings, all of which are a part of the virus. [Actually, given the explicit nature of some of these pop-ups, I was wondering if the Trojan virus that has infected my computer is not actually named after the famous horse but rather named for the contraceptive. Because I’m sure that my computer would definitely be rockin’ some herpes or the clap by now.]

All my passwords have been changed on another computer; cookies, Internet history, cache, etc. have been deleted. I had to drive all the way back to Astoria from the ‘rents house on Long Island tonight so I can meet up with Anthony on the Upper West Side at 9-freaking-am so he can completely restore my entire system. I think the only person happy about this is Jay since he’s been begging me to let him do that to this piece of shit Dell that doesn’t even get sound anymore (thanks Cal for making me bring my laptop into the office every single day for an entire year but getting everyone else laptops for work!). Meh I want a Macbook.

Soooo I may or may not have a computer ever again, depending on if Anthony is as good as he says he is. Everyone please pray that he’s as good as he says he is or I’m going to freak out just a little bit.

Oh on a side note – if you’re going to create Spyware, may I suggest 1) to go fuck yourself & then let Santa Claus rape your mother or 2) learning how to use proper spelling. If a “System Alert” pops up telling me to click this ‘baloon’ in order to “download malware removal software,” it’s pretty much a dead giveaway to not go click and download even more Spyware. You make thousands of dollars, maybe even millions to ruin people’s lives – I’m sure you can invest in a dictionary or go to dictionary.com.

Here’s the picture of what I see on my screen every time I open a new broswer. WARNING for everyone else. I think it gets bigger if you click to enlarge it.

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