and the past knocks at your door & throws stones at your window

I’m so sad.  Jay and I were at the flea market this morning and the Wake County Animal Shelter had a mobile unit there.  There was a 5-month old beagle puppy there who caught my eye.  Naturally, after like 10 minutes of me oogling, the volunteers brought her out for us to play with.  Then they put a leash on her and had us take her for a walk around the flea market.

We totally bonded.

But alas, reason won in the end and after some discussion, we gave her back.  She was so good with the other puppies.  We copied down her ID # so we could track her.  However, finances and space in the apartment and the fact we have to leave for San Diego in 3 weeks all played a part in our decision.  It was really tough to leave this puppy there.  A bunch of dogs were brought our way but this is the one we clicked with.

After we got back from the gym, Jay brought it up, “So how close were you to bringing home that puppy?”  To me, this translated to, “So I kinda want this dog a lot but don’t want to be the one to make the decision.”  I was right.  I brought it up to my grandparents when I spoke to them and to my mom when I talked to her.  My grandma’s attitude was, “You’re so young and you travel a lot and having a dog who needs to be taken care of isn’t fair.”  My mom, who was blessed enough to be the one that Strider choose to go home with back on April 5, 1999 at the North Shore Animal Shelter, simply said, “They’re so cute and it’s very difficult to say no when it feels right.”

So we discussed it all day and we told everyone about the puppy at a work BBQ I had tonight.  Jay said the decision was up to me and I just couldn’t get the image of that adorable little girl giving me a big sloppy kiss on the forehead out of my head.  So I went online to the Wake Co. Animal Shelter website and found that she did find a home today after we left.  It says, “Adoption Pending” after her name (Flora but she was found as a stray 2 weeks ago so to us, Flora was only the name that she was given, not her real name).

On one hand, I am so happy and relieved that Flora may have found a permanent home and owners to love her and treat her right but on the other hand, I am so sad that it could have been with us.  I just can’t help but think, “Well, Strider choose Mom and he was the most perfect dog in the entire world for me, Katelyn, Christie, Mom & Dad for 10 years.  Can I really use logic over emotions right now?”  I guess I can but I hope that little Flora ended up in the same situation that Strider did: a family with children, a yard, and plenty of love to go around.

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