I’ve Jumped the Shark

Before I get started, today is the 5 year anniversary of Jay and my’s first date in La Jolla, California.  /Obligatory anniversary reference.  But seriously, it’s crazy to think that five full years have gone by.  Nutso.

Anyway, back to the nitty gritty.  I’m back in Raleigh and was back to work yesterday & today after flying home to Long Island for two full days for the wake and funeral.  During my absence, poor Zoe had an adventure of her own.  She has a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and overnight Monday into Tuesday was not a pleasant night for either of us.  She was uncomfortable and neither urinating nor having any bowel movements.  Yup!  This is the point where my blog has jumped the mothereffing shark and I talk about my cat not being able to take a shit.  At least she takes after her mother.

The antibiotics she’s on (Clavamox) are supposed to cause diarrhea.  Everything I read on a Google search indicated that constipation in cats is not caused by it but rather is another side effect of infection.  I consulted with Jay as I was leaving the house at 7:00am and we both became worried of her possibly having a blockage and what would happen with her missing two dosages of her antibiotics when she clearly still wasn’t better.  I was tired and emotional.  Jay was freaking out because he wasn’t home to truly access the situation.  Both of us were super concerned about no one being home to watch her symptoms for two full days.

Thankfully, her regular vet had an open appointment that day and said that they’d board her overnight and give her the antibiotics.  HUGE THANK YOU TO CLIF for taking Zoe to the vet during his lunch break.  She didn’t have a blockage (even at 7:00am we knew we were most likely overreacting), but she did have crystals in her urine, which means potential kidney stones baby!  Now we’re on a special prescription diet in addition to the Clavamox.

I should mention that she refused to use the bathroom for them the entire time she was there, but they were able to get a urine sample by extracting it from her bladder.  I should also mention that after holding it in for a day and a half, she finally went…as soon as she got into Clif’s car.  Being the rock star that he is, he cleaned it up from her crate and put towels on the furniture and cleaned the floors where she’d wandered around when first coming home.  He also then hung out here to make sure she was okay until I got back from NY at around 10:30pm.  I bathed her upon my return home and I must say, that was the easiest pet bath I have ever given.  My old dog Strider used to hate baths and would freak out.  Even in his old age when he’d stop protesting, he would still run around all cray cray and wet as soon as the bathroom door opened.  Zoe not only let me bathe her with minimal issue, but she also let me dry her off.  I think the key was since she obviously didn’t piss on her own head, I didn’t have to run any water over it.

So.  That’s my super fascinating blog post about my cat’s UTI.  Since Clif is the hero of this post, something something something pun about Jump the Shark/this blog post jumping the shark something something.

P.S. Half of this post was actually about those dumb f*cking broads who can’t get over Kristen Stewart getting her box munched by someone who isn’t R.Patz, but I figured I’d cut that out and set it to post tomorrow morning.  Better to push this pisser of a post down as far as I can to regain some of my dignity.  You know, because posting about Twihards really gives me cred.

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