Coll Writes

You know how I do.

Why Must a New Baby be a Negative?

Written By: Colleen - May• 29•14

[Note: I said something about this subject in my last post, but wanted to expand a little bit. This post is not for all of the people who left me nice comments here or on Twitter, but merely to get something that’s been bugging me for the past eight months off of my chest. I promise, I’m not even in a bad mood right now.]

We found out we were having a baby back at the beginning of October 2013. We started telling people after a few weeks and made it publicly known via Facebook on December 8. Pretty much for the past eight months, people have been driving me crazy with their never ending “warnings” about how ‘bad’ life is apparently about to get.

People really know how to turn having a baby into a negative thing. Since the start, we have heard constant comments including but not limited to the following:

  • “You’ll never have money again.”
  • “Better get all your sleeping in now, because once baby comes, that’s the end of sleeping!”
  • “Say goodbye to your modesty.”
  • “Hope you don’t mind not showering for a while…”
  • “Say goodbye to freedom!”
  • “Better have fun now, because you won’t be having any date nights/seeing any movies/going on any trips/etc. for a while.”

Why do people feel need to point these things out? Are they trying to rain on our parade by making sure we know all the ways that life is supposedly about to change for the worse? I just don’t get it. Contrary to what everyone told Jay before our wedding, his life didn’t end after marriage. Life will not end after baby. Sure, it will change. It will change for the better, no matter how many sleepless nights or sacrificed showers.

If one more person says to us, “Get those movies in while you still can,” I am going to roll my eyes out of my head and scream so loudly you can hear me across the damn country. Gee, if only we had thought about what having a child meant before we decided to have a fucking child. Eight months of people pointing out the negatives. Give it a rest, everyone. I know I’m about to be peed and shit on. I’m fucking fine with that. Bring on the poop!

If you have said something to the effect of, “Your life is about to change in the best way possible,” or commented under a picture with, “Thank you for sharing this experience,” thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much those remarks make me smile.

So, in conclusion, if you are scrolling down your Facebook feed and see an expecting couple post a picture of themselves out on a date night, don’t be that person who tries to be funny by telling them it’s the last night out they’ll be able to afford for a while. I’ll bet my next paycheck that they know what it means to have a baby and just want to enjoy their limited time together as a twosome. Just give us that. Then, bring on the poop!

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  1. jeffintexas says:

    I’m going to make a guess that a lot of the people making those comments don’t have kids, right? Well, to be honest, many of those things that people say IS true. However, you’ll quickly find that it is well worth it and you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!! Look at it this way…you have a ready excuse for those days when you’re tired or don’t feel like showering! 🙂 Now c’mon Baby G…hurry up and get here!!! 🙂

    • Colleen Glatfelter says:

      Some of the people who have commented to Jay are people that I don’t know their child status, but I would guess that 9 out of 10 of them have kids. I know for a fact that pretty much everyone who says things to me has children.

      And yes, the point of this post is that we KNOW what they’re saying is true. It’s just really annoying to hear it over and over again. Don’t people realize that we understand what it means to have a baby, both good and bad?

      • jeffintexas says:

        Well there are always those people who like to point out what they consider the negative points of being a new parent. I know we had our share of sleepless nights and various other things, but 13 years later…I wouldn’t change a thing.

        • Colleen Glatfelter says:

          Yup, there are a lot of those people out there who like to point out the negative points of being a new parent, lol. I just wish they wouldn’t. Maybe it’s because I’m “older” & considered all these things beforehand. Having a baby wasn’t something we woke up one day and decided to just “do,” so perhaps I’m just being one of those people who don’t make decisions lightly & get all touchy when people harmlessly weigh in with the cons over the pros.

          Luckily for me, I function much better on less sleep than I do on the standard 7-8 hours. 😛

          • jeffintexas says:

            Another benefit of those sleepless nights…more time for podcast editing!!! 🙂

  2. Kathy says:

    Well, I’ve had five, so I guess it’s not all bad. 😉
    Congratulations. Best wishes for a healthy baby. ( Your due date is two bays before my first born’s birthday. )

  3. Melissa McGuire says:

    I just want to hug you Colleen.

    I think sometimes people use humor to help them through the rough spots. Maybe it was tougher than they expected to adjust to parenthood and they think they are helping. Maybe they are trying to make themselves feel better.

    Whatever it is, I’m sorry it’s gotten to you. But thank you so much for sharing this time with us. I’ve loved following along. New parents, especially ones I know lead with love, make me so happy.

    • Colleen Glatfelter says:

      I’m okay, honest. I’m not meaning to sound bitchy or cranky; I’m in a good place. I just wanted to get this mini-rant off my chest. I know people have their reasons for saying what they say, whether it’s because they’re just pessimists, miserable themselves, or trying to be funny. I am sure that half of the comments made to us have been for the reasons you said and I’m just being a jerk. I just never found them to be helpful or funny. Maybe I’m too sensitive.

  4. Ina Widerøe says:

    Sure, your lives will be different, but the baby will bring you so much joy and love! And maybe he will sleep very well through the night – our babies did! 😉

    • Colleen Glatfelter says:

      I hope he sleeps well! Jay & I were both good sleepers when we were babies, so hopefully he is too. He is always quiet and asleep when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, so maybe that will transfer over… 😉

  5. Sarah Bowman says:

    I could not agree more!! This used to irritate me to death when I was pregnant with my two children. I think many people are miserable and just want everyone else to be as miserable as they are. Those same people like to spew out negative things about every stage of childhood too. Of course pregnancy, childbirth and parenting have difficult moments. What doesn’t? But it is also wonderful and worth all the discomfort and hard work. I wish you and Jay all the best. You are going to be amazing parents and LOVE it!! 🙂

    • Colleen Glatfelter says:

      Thank you! We are genuinely looking forward to it, sleepless nights and all. 🙂

      I see a lot of negative posts on Facebook about parenting. I want to shake one friend and ask her why she was so desperate for a baby if she’s constantly miserable actually having one, haha.

  6. Lynn says:

    Since I don’t have kids yet I shouldn’t act like I can relate, but this is brilliant! More power to you! ^^

    • Colleen Glatfelter says:

      haha thank you, Lynn! Someday, you’ll be able to relate and you can bitch to me when people say these things to you!!!

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