Ep. 12: Señoritis

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Maeby time!  High school senior Maeby and her boyfriend Perfecto are on their way to a college math tutoring program and her tutor is – who else? – George Michael.  Flash back to the aftermath of the Queen Mary, where Maeby is lying on a stretcher trying to get her self-absorbed parents to notice her.  George Michael approaches to break the news that he thinks they should just be cousins because he needs to concentrate on graduating high school in two months.  Inspired, Maeby decides to flunk high school to get her parents’ attention.  Unfortunately for Maeby, the news of her being held back has to be put on hold after she discovers they’ve both left town.  Instead, Maeby heads to India to supervise a movie she’s working on, Gangie 5: Eat, Pray, Love (that’s why the book was out for L & T to find) and at the hotel, she sees Lindsay.  If you go back and watch the Lindsay scene in “Indian Takers,” you can clearly see Maeby in the background while Lindsay is at the front desk.  Another puzzle piece:  Maeby was the shaman that Lindsay met with in India.  Jay totally called this twist when we watched “Indian Takers” the first time.

Over the next several years, Maeby continues to put off graduating and thanks to Kitty, gets fired from Imagine Entertainment.  She ends up squatting in the penthouse, but escapes to the model home on the day that Lindsay and Marky move in with Cindy.  We find out that Maeby was the vulture noise we heard as G.O.B. and Michael entered the model home on the day they drank the Mike’s Hard Lemonade.  When she shows up for tutoring at George Michael’s dorm room, her cousin tells all about his FakeBlock software program.  This causes her to feel bad about herself.  On the bus ride back, she hears rumors of an undercover cop at the school and begins to realize that perhaps it’s time to finally graduate from high school.  At a bar, Maeby meets two of the cops from Entrap a Predator.  Hard up for cash, she asks them if they need a new bait house.  Puzzle piece:  It’s Maeby who set Tobias up to get arrested.  On her way back from the restroom, Maeby thinks she sees Perfecto with a police badge.  Is he the undercover cop?

Maeby encounters Barry with a step stool outside of the high school.  This is particularly great because it’s pay off to the Barry storyline, which we’ve now seen fully seen, but out of order.  She heads back to the penthouse to claim a “long overdue royalty check” and encounters an ovulating Cindy the ostrich.  This puts the timeline at one of the three days that Marky was hiding in the podium and Lindsay was living in the trailer.  An annoyed Maeby lets Cindy outside onto the balcony.  And now we know just how Lucille 2 came to be attacked by a “chicken.”  This also clears up that the check wasn’t from Lucille to Maeby, but rather from the movie Gangie 4: Facelift.

Stair car alert at the Opie Awards!  Maeby runs into Mort (cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm music) who informs her that the award is actually given to someone in the business once they’re finished.  Since he’s also finished in the business, Mort has moved on to the next best thing: starting up an Internet company.  Maeby begins to talk up Fakeblock and runs into her old friend from her days at Imagine, Rebel Alley.  She introduces Rebel to her “friend,” “George Maharis.”  Rebel complains that she’s so over social media: “I tried to deactivate my Facebook profile.  It’s easier to get out of Scientology.”

Maeby sees Perfecto at the Opies and confronts him about being a cop.  When they part, she runs into Lindsay and we see the scene between the two of them at the coconut shrimp table.  She then accepts her Opie in a profanity-laden speech.  Security begins to chase her out, but chaos erupts when Marky’s bomb goes off.  We see the scene between Maeby and her mother outside again, only learn what happens from Maeby’s POV.  Upon hearing daughter call mother a whore, Herbert Love’s campaign manager approaches Maeby and hires Lindsay for the night.  And that’s how Maeby became her mother’s pimp.  She uses the money to invest in FakeBlock, which is also being financed by Lucille 2 (GM has no idea who she is).

Maeby also uses the money to fix up the model home, where she encounters Steve Holt immediately following his phone call with G.O.B. in “A New Attitude” (the one that takes place on Steve’s birthday).  I laughed so hard at Maeby not recognizing him anymore and cheered when we got a “Steve Holt!” Poor Steve Holt.  Maeby unveils the new FakeBlock office to GM, but he gets overwhelmed and fires her.  Back at the penthouse, she runs into Michael, signs the release, and suggests that the project (which she originally pitched during the Season 3 finale) be better off as a TV series.

This brings us to the Cinco festivities.  Maeby runs into Lindsay and learns that her mother has been paid to go away.  Outraged at yet another loss in income, she turns to Perfecto and asks him to take care of Herbert Love for her.  Next thing we know, Love has gone missing and Perfecto confesses that he’s not the undercover cop after all – he’s just a 17-year-old high school senior.  23-year-old Maeby realizes that she’s inadvertently become a sex offender herself and that Lucille 2 (Perfecto’s foster mother) has seen her.  She begins to think that she’s made a terrible mis—nah, she’s fine.

In the “On the next…” segment, we find out that Sally Sitwell is planning on running in Lucille 2’s place after her disappearance and that the undercover cop is Donnie Ritcher.  He arrests Maeby for having sex with Perfecto and she moans, “I’m gonna have to live in Sudden Valley!”

Things to Note:

  • Ostrich reference: Maeby’s high school mascot.
  • Not knowing how to tip: Maeby offers the movers stock options instead of a cash tip.
  • The front desk clerk at the hotel tells Lindsay she’s “full of shi—beep,” which Maeby tells her mother both as the shaman and during the Bluth family meeting.
  • On her fourth year of high school, Maeby’s yearbook labels her as “Maeby Featherbottom.”
  • A quote under another photo says “Life is a Roofie Circle.”
  • She gives the bartender a quick “Marry me” when he asks to see her ID.
  • The Widow Carr is the voice of Kerri Russell.
  • We get a second Zack and Cody joke.
  • Flashback to the SLUT shirt in prison!
  • The Funke Family’s favorite TV show is Babies Having Babies.
  • We get the “safe at home plate” picture and horn to indicate how far Maeby and Perfecto have gone.
  • Poor George Michael.  He just can’t seem to get a break when it comes to names.
  • Maeby’s rant at the podium must’ve been filmed very recently, because she yells, “I will c—punt the next person…”  This references the Sorority Girl e-mail that went viral in April 2013.

Timeline:

  • Maeby tells George Michael she has “two whole months” to flunk high school, which puts the Queen Mary incident in March/April (since high schools graduations are in May/June).
  • India is at the end of her first year.
  • The Method One clinic debacle is at the end of her second year as a senior.  This implies that Lucille’s trial is one year after the Queen Mary incident.
  • Her third senior year is spent at the Penthouse.
  • Her fourth & fifth senior years are spent the model home.
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