Coll Writes

You know how I do.

Archive for the 'Story time' Category

Nagini Is Hungry

I heard this wonderfully gross story at work on Monday night. It was the perfect cure to stop eating so freaking many M&M’s instead of dinner. Kallie, a high school senior, told me it: A girl she used to work with had a pet snake. She used to sleep with this snake each night because […]

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California Dreamin’

I had the craziest dream last night and I have no idea what it means at all, though I should probably just take it as it is: I was returning home to New York (JFK airport for some strange reason; I usually fly out of LGA) from what I think was Raleigh (minor detail I […]

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Adventures in Spyware!

Spyware sucks. I got a nasty case of it last night right before Lost started & spent all freaking night trying to get rid of it, including buying some stupid program that Anthony recommended with money I definitely do not have (grrrr). Nothing’s working and I keep getting lovely pop-ups (I think my first thought […]

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So you treat your love like a firefly, like it only gets to shine for a little while

Okay, so let’s tell the story about how the dude setting up my new desk last Wednedsay asked me out. Twice. He’d only been there for 16 minutes. Great. Then he asked me what religion I was. I answered, “Catholic,” & he asked me if Catholics were allowed to date outside the religion (he was […]

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Sunday Night Bitchfest

Today was one of those days. I worked my crappy job yesterday (Sat.) 3pm-11pm. Got home around 11:20pm. Had to get up at 5:30am to be at work again at 7am. Naturally, I couldn’t fall asleep. Chatted with Princess Cupcake Assface Randy, John Norton & Bobby via AIM & tried for sleep for real around […]

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Over-analytical Depressive Fuckers Make Good Music

Ok, so I just got back from seeing Damien Rice at Beacon Theatre with Amanda Giordano. It was really, really good. Probably about 384,201 times better than this summer at Jones Beach. I think that Damien & co. just don’t have the type of music that can really be appreciated at a place like Jones […]

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Grandma Woke Up a Democrat

Soooo Grandma’s surgery went well. She’s still in a lot of pain but she was prescribed Vicodin, so hopefully that’ll help her every 4 hours for the next few weeks. It’s SO funny to me to think about how at the end of last school year I took Vicodin a few times for shits & […]

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I’m a wild & untamed thing

“I’d rather stick my dick in a blender.” -Funniest text message Chris Golio has ever sent me. California on Monday morning! Then Tricia & I are going to drive back across country, leaving sometime Tuesday? Colleen = Excited. I know we’re probably stopping in Vegas, we’re stopping in Tennessee so she can see her grandmother […]

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Even Men Can’t Resist Cashmere

It’s time for another edition of “This only happens to Colleen!” (See: Even Old Women… or the naked old dude pissing in the ocean at Smith’s Point in “Maybe a Bright Sandy Beach…“). In today’s segment: I’m at work at Ann Taylor & some old JAPs are asking me about cardigan sets. Old JAP Broad […]

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Even Old Women Talk About Sex

I know I complain a lot about still being stuck at Ann Taylor 8 days a week, but as with anything you do all the time, it has its moments. Anyway, there’s this older woman, Joan, who works there. She’s…a character. She’s about 70 & probably should’ve retired like 10 years ago for various reasons/behavior, […]

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