Coll Writes

You know how I do.

June 10

Written By: Colleen - Jun• 11•13

Today, June 10, was a rough day.  They spoke to us about options, like DNRs, ventilators and hospice care.  My grandma came to reality this morning: “You know, we’re going to lose him.”  We know we are close to the end now.  I can’t believe this is happening.  My worst nightmare for 29 years and it’s coming true.

For now, we wait.  My parents, sisters, aunt, and I are staying overnight in the waiting room of the hospital.  My grandma has not left his bedside since last Tuesday when they came in on their 58th wedding anniversary.  We have chair-beds set up with blankets.  My parents have not left the hospital since last Thursday.  My uncle & I rushed here this morning without showering.  I have not left at all since I got here at 8am.

We just want it to be peaceful and painless.  Love doesn’t even begin to describe how much he means to each of us individually.  He is Louie, Daddy,Grandpa, uncle.  He is amazing.  We had so many visitors whose lives he’s touched.  Even though he cannot speak, he communicates to us that he wants kisses to show us he loves us too.

This is hard.

Fuck cancer.

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  1. sitakatherine says:

    I’m so sorry Colleen. I lost my grandfather, grandmother, and favorite aunt all to cancer. Watching my aunt fade away was the hardest thing.

  2. Doris says:

    I am so sorry that your family is facing this. Nothing I can say can truly help ease your pain right now.

    Cancer is fucking horrible

  3. Laura says:

    Sending your and your family lots of prayers. I’m so sorry for what all of you are going through. I’m glad you are there with your family and especially your grandfather.

    • Colleen says:

      @Laura, thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. I can’t believe it all happened the way it did, but I’m so “happy” that we could all be there for each other and for him.

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