Ep. 7: Colony Collapse


Finally, we get to catch up with G.O.B.  Right before the Queen Mary incident, George Michael catches G.O.B. and Ann together as they prepare to “get to fourth base” as soon as she turns 18 the next day.  Unfortunately for G.O.B., “the only ‘her’ he would be getting off of that night was the Queen Mary.”  After forcing GM to give him his blessing, G.O.B. realizes that without anything standing in his way of being with Egg Plant Ann, he doesn’t actually want to be with her.  This brings us to what I think is the funniest running joke of the new season – the random playing of “The Sound of Silence” when G.O.B. spaces out.

G.O.B.’s attempt to break up with Ann goes pretty much how you’d expect: he ends up having sex with her and then accidentally proposing marriage to her.  There’s three wonderful moments: 1. Ann, having made breakfast for G.O.B., asks “How do you like your eggs?”  “I said you were fine!” G.O.B. responds.  2. G.O.B. stuttering his way through the “Should the guy in the…” and “Come on” lines. 3. We get the return of the “Marry me!” joke.  We then get a whole bunch more “Her?” jokes from Michael, G.O.B., and Pastor Veal’s co-host on a Evangelical Christian talk show.

At his wedding to Ann – which none of the Bluths have shown up to except Tobias, who’s only there because casting at the Miracle Network sent him to be a part of the act – G.O.B. performs his most offensive trick illusion yet by dressing up as The Amazing Jesus.  What follows is nothing short of, well, amazing.  There’s also a great sight gag: The Veals’ church is called the Holy Eternal Rapture, or “HER?” for short.  The show is a disaster, of course, as G.O.B. gets stuck in the boulder for two weeks, causing him to miss Lucille’s trial.  Ann subsequently dumps him and informs him that she’s “sold his cave on Craigslist.”  So THAT’S how Heartfire found the sweat cave!

G.O.B. meets up with Steve Holt in a bar, who offers him a job in his pest control business.  After his son leaves, G.O.B. meets John Beard Jr. (Ben Schwartz aka Jean-Ralphio on Parks & Rec) who hooks him up with pop sensation Mark Cherry (a shout out to this Marc Cherry?).  It’s also at the bar that G.O.B. catches the attention of Rebel Alley.  G.O.B. ends up joining their entourage as their “Getaway” and standing up Steve Holt.  Over the next several months, G.O.B. gets caught up in a “Roofie Circle,” trying to forget his shame.  Sometime after Christmas, he ends up in a Mexican hospital with Stage 4 syphilis.  Meanwhile, Mark Cherry has written a pop song about G.O.B., with lyrics that include, “Go away, Getaway!” that G.O.B. naturally doesn’t get.  We get another payoff to an earlier reference – those bees that caused Johnny Bark to fall to his death?  They were most likely G.O.B.’s.

Another puzzle piece falls into place: G.O.B. was the driver of the limo that we last saw DeBrie getting into.  DeBrie, looking for drugs, accidentally unleashes G.O.B.’s bee colony.  The bees stab everyone in the entourage, lands them all in the hospital and then in rehab, something that G.O.B. remains blissfully unaware of at first.  At the Opie Awards the following evening, G.O.B. learns that a now out Tony Wonder is set to perform a magic act as the evening’s entertainment.  Hoping to sabotage his rival, G.O.B. jams shut the door to what he believes to be Tony’s escape panel.  After seeing Tony pop out of a speaker instead, G.O.B. hears a loud noise and sirens, seemingly placing him in the same building as his father and sister were  in “Double Crossers.”

In the “On the next…” segment, we learn that it was G.O.B. driving the limo that almost hit Michael right after he met Rebel and that he suspects Tony Wonder of sabotaging his cave door from opening after finding a “T” (a crucifix) jammed into the door.

Another solid, great episode.  The ridiculousness of G.O.B. never ceases to do anything short of crack me up.  Even though this was one of the longer episodes, it never felt long.  I didn’t recognize Steve Holt at first, but it was fun to see him back.  I wish his character had a little bit more to do other than be hurt by G.O.B., but I’ll take what I can get.  The Tobias/G.O.B. stuff was great, as was every little Ann joke.  Tobias’s line, “I don’t like to quote reviews, but His Word magazine called my Jew pitiful!” cracked me up.

Things to Note:

  • G.O.B. gets a “Way to plant, Ann” in there.
  • G.O.B. to Ann after being frightened by a picture of Jesus in her room: “For a second I thought that was a real guy.”
  • The “G.O.B. was feeling boulder/bolder” pun.
  •  The bar G.O.B. spends time at is called “And Jeremy Piven” while Mark Cherry’s group is a spoof on Entourage.
  • Rebel mentions her David Spade purse.
  • G.O.B. distracts the paparazzi: “Okay, let’s go while they still have lighter fluid in their eyes.”
  • Tony Wonder’s “I’m here, I’m queer…” calls back to the protest from the pilot: “We’re here, we’re queer…”


  • G.O.B.’s wedding to Ann is at least two weeks after Michael gives his shares to Lucille 2.
  • Since G.O.B. is using the tomb that would later become George Sr.’s sweat hut, this obviously takes place prior to the founding of Father B.’s Colony.
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