Ep. 9: Smashed


We head back over to Tobias, now a registered sex offender and rebranded as a “Theralyist” (prison had taught him one thing).  In order to pay back his debt to society, Tobias is now working as a therapist at Lucille 2’s rehab facility, Austerity.  Mark Cherry, sent to rehab after the bee stinging incident, is in Tobias’ therapy group.  Here’s a convenient opportunity for everyone to sing the G.O.B. inspired “Go Away, Getaway” song.  Also in the group is Emmett Ritcher, Andy’s identical quintuplet who won’t allow them to show his face.  Tobias runs into a six weeks clean DeBrie but is soon told by Argyle Austero (Lucille 2’s brother) that he can’t treat her because they had been previously involved.  And so, Tobias decides to put on “Fantastic 4: The Musical” so he can spend time with his new lady love.

Back at the model home, Tobias runs into G.O.B. and the two brother-in-laws catch up over breakfast (eggs, of course) and brag about how they’re both dating famous-y people.  G.O.B. tells Tobias that he can’t get anyone to live in Sudden Valley due to it not having any Internet, cell phone service, schools, libraries, etc. near it.  Since those are pretty much all of Tobias’ parole requirements as a sex offender, he tells G.O.B. that he can move into one today!  Back at Austerity, Tobias and Argyle run into a little problem with not having the rights to put on a Fantastic 4 musical.  If only the could raise $700,000… Oh!  That’s coincidentally the amount of money that Michael owes Lucille.  Hmmm, I see where this is going.  On his way out of the Balboa Club after the disastrous double date, Michael runs into the Austero siblings.  Argyle demands he pay the money back by “the fourth” (El Cinco de Quatro).

There’s a new patient at Austerity, known as “the B-word from the C Ward…or is it the C-word from the B Ward?”  Yup, that’s right – it’s Lucille.  “Hello, Anus Tart,” she greets her son-in-law.  And she’s never even seen the license plate.

Back in Sudden Valley, Michael confides his problems over whether or not to do the film with Tobias.  Tobias tells Michael that he’s f*cked, but upon learning that he knows Ron Howard, Tobias urges his brother-in-law to go talk to him so he himself can try to get the producer to give him the rights to his musical.  Tobias: “I will act as your assistant and maybe I’ll do my famous gay character.  I don’t think you’ve ever seen that character.”  Michael: “I think I have.”

Things go just as awkwardly as you’d expect at Imagine Entertainment when Michael, under the impression that Ron Howard is Rebel’s lover, asks the producer to “let her go” so she can be “his little num num.”  It’s no surprise that Tobias knows that Ron is Rebel’s father, but his reaction is hilarious.  Sadly for Tobias, Ron can’t help him get the rights.  Naturally, Tobias lies to everyone back at rehab and tells them that they are good to go.  Unfortunately for DeBrie, Lucille has decided to “mother” her by calling her fat and insulting her dancing skills during F4 rehearsals.  The pressure gets to DeBrie, who relapses at Cinco courtesy of Dr. Norman’s flushed pills which she just so happened to be down current of.

I was worried that the Tobias is a sex offender gag was going to be overkill, but it pays off at the Cinco festival.  Anus Tart realizes that he can’t perform in the musical in his Thing costume because he will be too recognizable and there are too many children around.  It’s a funny moment when a group of children pass him by and he fulfills his obligation to go “I’m a registered sex offender” to every single one of them as they pass.  Tobias runs into Buster and convinces him to take his place as The Thing, once again using a poor choice of words: “You’re a monster, you don’t have to be any good.”  Both Tobias and Lucille 2 find DeBrie passed out among debris. Lucille 2 angrily threatens to fire Tobias which will result in him going back to prison (he’s out on a work release program).  She tells him she’ll talk to him about it on Monday.  “So I have until Monday to fix this,” Tobias ponders with an evil villain laugh…until we realize that he’s laughing at “that red head lady” who can’t seem to throw her money at someone.  We know by now that this is Lindsay trying to throw the payoff money in Love’s face.

I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of the DeBrie character.  Sometimes I like her, other times, I find her to be kinda “meh.”  One of the bigger running gags with DeBrie is the imaginary nose bleed gag and I just don’t find that funny.  That said, I don’t hate her.  I just hope we’re done with her after this season.  We last see DeBrie asking Tobias to “let me die” as he takes her Sue Storm wig off her head and plays the part himself.  It’s his muscle memory that leads him to “blue himself for the first time in 5 years.”  Clap, clap, cheers!

Things to Note:

  • We hear the Mr. F jingle two more times in this episode.
  • The return of Tobias in blue pant and cut offs!
  • Every food scene in the model home features mustard and Parmesan cheese.  This is a nod to Martin Mull, who plays both Gene Parmesan and Colonel Mustard in Clue.
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